Chemo Round 1

July 22 - Day 1.

So lets try to summarize the first bout with this crap. I got to the office around 1pm. The first thing they do is check my temperature, blood pressure, weight, and then they draw blood. (I'm guessing to make sure I'm ok for the latest round of poison. After that we (Steve and myself) meet with the physician assistant, got any questions answered and then moved on to the infusion room. I was then set up with an IV and they began to administer the pre-meds. I was given 2 different anti nausea medications and a steroid (also supposed to help with nausea) After that was all administered (about 1/2 hr) The nurse then pushed in the A. (acitiomine). That has to be administered carefully because it can cause serious harm if its out of the veins. (lovey thought) It was given through the iv so it could be mixed in with the saline. So once that was done I was then hooked up to the C (cytonie) and that was given as a IV drip. That took about and hour. Once that was done I was free to go. I was told to drink lots of water and get my systems flushed out. I was feeling fine until a little bit later on in the day. I was just a bit tired and just wanted to rest. I wasn't really nauseous feeling but did have a bit of a sour stomach. I just tried to eat bits small amounts and just tried to take it easy. Also I had a bit of a head ache.

Day 2
I had to go back to the infusion center to get my nuelesta shot. This is something I will have to do after every treatment. It is supposed to help boost my white blood cells so that I can get the chemo every 2 weeks on schedule. I continued to take my anti nausea meds on schedule and despite a little weirdness in the belly, the day wasn't to bad. I had small spurts (about an hour or so) here and there but for the most part I just rested.

Day 3 was similar to day 2. Last day I was supposed to take my anti nausea meds.

Day 4 - Wasn't sure what to expect. I have to say I was pleasantly surprised. I did manage to get out and do a few things but I was still very tired. (good thing too since Steve was pretty much no help that day)

Day 5 (Monday) was the worst day I would say so far. One of the SE's of the nuelesta shot was the possibility of bone pain as they were being called on to produce those necessary white blood cells. The best way to try to describe it was like a whiplash patient (never had whiplash but if I did I am guessing thats what it would have felt like). From my ears, down to my lower jaw, to my neck and shoulders were just in pain and sensitive to touch. It felt like I had one of those whiplash collars on and it was just painful. nothing seemed to help except a hot shower or the heating pad.

Day 6, Still in a bit of pain but it finally started to subside by the afternoon.

From that point on for the most part, I am back to my typical actives and stuff. I'm still getting some random pains here and there. I also have this yuck taste in my mouth and there doesn't seem to be anything I can do about it. So now its off to enjoy as much as I can the next few days until round 2 next thurs. At least each treatment is one step closer to being finished.

Oh I also still have my hair, I'm guessing (hoping) I'll have it for another week or so. Wig has been ordered but I really am not looking forward to that part of all of this. I'm very open with my diagnosis and will answer any questions that people my have but once the hair is gone I'm so afraid just by looking at me people are going to scream "CANCER PATIENT". I always hated to have attention on myself. It was hard when I had triplets to ignore the attention and deal with the crazies it brought out, I can only imagine what is next.

So where have I been?
Round 1, done, will right about separately. This is more a vent and getting it all out post so I have no idea if it will make any sense but I'm just going to type and see where we go.

I think I will go back to the beginning of this latest cycle. I have accepted the fact that chemo is required and it will be happening, I managed to get myself somewhat prepared for it. That is despite steve's latest issue. Please don't get me wrong as I love him dearly and I know he loves me but sometimes his timing just sucks. (not that mine is much better LOL). The week before chemo, while everything was being digested, Steve's tooth was starting to bother him.) Couple that with Jarrett being off at cubscout camp and the various doc appointments that both me and the kids had prior to my start of chemo, I didn't know which way I was going. So without going into all the details we make it to Wed, The day before my 1st treatment and the day I have to pick J up from cubscout camp. (family BBQ and campfire). Steve didn't make it into work as his tooth hurt him so bad that he went to the dentist to have it pulled. Apparently his boss has it in for him so this missed day didn't help. (he had already taken the next day off to go with me to my first appointment.) He did manage to pull himself together for thurs, (chemo day,) but he had to go to work on Fri. Of course he was in lots of pain. His bosses attitude didn't help either. Thankfully my dad and Janet took the kids and kept them entertained and I was just to tired to deal with much. Steve was a little helpful though his pain, trying to make sure I had stuff to eat and was ok. He did manage to pull himself togetehr to go riding with friends that night. I have to say I'm very glad that I wasn't as bad as I could have been. I managed to pull myself together to day with the kids as who else was going to deal with them.

3 days and Chemo

I'm tired and really need to update here. Will try to do that tomorrow. Bottom line is my ONCO score came back at a 41. That put me squarely into the high risk group. Too much to do and no time to do it. The story of my life!

Digesting

So I've been doing lots of reading on the chemo forums while I am awaiting the the results of the ONCO Type test. This is a test that indicates several things. 1. How likely a chance the cancer will reoccur or metastasize and 2. If chemo would be beneficial. For me its going to help me figure out the level of chemo I will need. I have accepted the fact that I will need chemo. Even though all the cancer has been removed, with a grade 3 tumor and the fact that it was invasive puts it on the hirer risk side. The good news is that it was caught early and that is a positive. The next thing I have to deal with is if radiation is required. There is a concern that the margin was not as clear as they (the docs) would like. Typically they like to see a 2mm margin and I had a 1mm to the DCIS areas. I had a 4mm to the invasive tumor. I'm hoping that if I have to do chemo, I may be able to avoid radiation but at this point I can't rule anything out.

So chemo..... I will be loosing my hair.

If I fall in the mid range, (my best case scenario) I would be receiving 4 treatments. One treatment every 3 weeks. (So 3 months total). She mentioned TC for that regiment.

If I fall in the High risk (where my luck would put me) Then I'm in for 4 months of treatment of ACT given every other week.

The exact names of the drugs I am reading about but don't have my notes in front of me. I've been reading about the SE (Side effects) as well as the administration of them. There is the gamete from the ladies who have sever side effects and those who have none. I've been on message boards (Specialty type) before and have learned while there seem to be a lot more people with issues than you would think. "We" cancer patients, triplet/ multiple parents all tend to congregate in similar places so that it me "seem" like more. So as with the surgery I'm just going to take things one step at a time and see where I end up. I think you don't here so much about the people who do great as they get busy with their lives and don't post as often.

I have to say I'm guilty of that. I'm feeling good finally, and can pretty much do most things i need to do. Still need to work on exercise and figure out work of some sort. Part of me is not sure what to do because I have no idea what to except time or energy wise. I have this gut feeling that once the onco score comes back chemo is going to be started ASAP. Makes it real hard to plan things.

Well new week is going to begin. Holiday weekend is done. Em's extended school year starts tomorrow so hopefully I can get some sort of routine in place and get caught up on a few things. So much more to figure out.

6 Weeks

Its hard to believe that its been 6 weeks since my surgery. Overall I'm doing great. Tomorrow is a big day. I meet with an oncologist. (ONC) I have to say that I'm very nervous about that one. I just got a hold of the Path report and Surgical grading has kept me at a stage 1. (no Lymph node involvement) Although there is something in the report talking about focal lymphatic invasion in the DCIS section. Yes They did find areas of DCIS. I also have had to tumor graded at a grade 3. I really did not want to deal with chemo. Between that and the BS called and the areas of DCIS only had a margin on 1mm (she likes 2mm) and her wanting me to see a radiation oncologist. I knew I would be having to deal with Hormone therapy and not totally thrilled with that.

I just don't feel prepared for this appointment. When I met with the BS and the PS, I had read so much on what I was in for and the was clear and I had a handle on it. There are so many forms and types of ways chemo can go that I really can't do much until I meet with the doctor and get an idea as to the direction of treatment. Between that and the up coming OOPH, I'm not sure what to be prepared for.

Sorry for the Break

I just ended up in some sort of funk. Between that and the school year coming to an end I have just been overwhelmed in stuff. Toss in recovery, I just haven't had a chance to catch up with much. I apologize for that.

Well here I am 5 weeks later and I have to say I'm having better days and than those not so much better days. There was a period of time about 3 to 4 weeks in that my chest just hurt. It was all I could do was sit there and hold my boobs. Thankfully those times are getting further and further apart. Unfortunately not a day goes by where I am not completely aware of my boobs and how they are feeling today. This past sunday was a good day. I sat and relaxed by the lake and really was not aware of much more than my stomach. (The mesh the PS placed in there still feels a bit weird but he said it, like my new breasts would also take getting some adjusting to). I even managed to get my kitchen cleaned out and a few other odds and ends done. I paid for it today.

Its a feeling that is hard to describe. Maybe its like wearing a bra that is a bit snug. Problem being that I'm not wearing anything but a cotton cami and there is nothing to remove. (BTW Love those simple cotton cami's They are comfortable to sleep in and to wear underneath cothing that would otherwise be very uncomfortable.) The other thing I'm still having issues with is sleeping. I'm a side sleeper and I just have not been able to get comfortable. I still can't sleep flat on my back so I have a few pillows piled up. Of course over the course of the night I slip down and then wake up. I try to sleep on my side but I need a pillow for the front to help support and one behind me to keep me from falling back.

I know its only temporary and one day I won't even think about it. I just wish It would get here sooner than later. I meet with an oncologist on tues. I'm a bit curious to see what she has to say. Of course nothing with me is ever clear cut. My BS Might want me to see a radiologist as well. I was really hoping to avoid radiation but the margin to some DCIS that they found was a bit closer than she would normally like to see. I should get a copy of the Pathology report tomorrow so I can start to get some research done before I meet with the Oncologist. Hopefully my next post won't be so long in coming.

Copied from my cancer board

The drains under the arms were one of the most annoying things I have every dealt with. I can happily say that today I went from 4 and am now down to one. As long as that one can stay below 30, It should come out on Monday. My PS doesn't want it in to long as he had to place a piece of mesh to actually give me some abdominal structure and he doesn't want that to get infected. I also meet with my BS and she is thrilled with how everything has turned out. She did give me a chuckle as she was checking on the PS as he was working and helping keep DH updated and the poor PS was not having very nice things to say about my high risk OB. Cant say I blame him. I didn't like him much either. Except for the lack of nipples, you would never know I had a mastectomy. My Dh was asking about some revisions and such and both the PS and me looked at him and told him to take a chill pill. I am only 1 1/2 weeks out. I need to give everything time to settle and start really moving again to get rid of the swelling. I have a bit of a fungal infection by one of the drain sites under my arms but he said a bit of anti fungal stuff (think athletes foot stuff) and I should be fine. My DH even found one that was scented since not being able to wear deodorant has been driving me insane. I'm still not happy about the amount of underarm hair but I know I will be able to deal with that soon.The good news is I'm pretty much off all meds except for the antibiotic. If I feel like I need anything Advil is enough.

I have to say those first two days were absolute HE** but since I've been home, I am so much happier. The drains were a real pain but with them gone I'm Free! The only other major issue I ran into was the ps said not to worry two much about undies under the yoga pants. Now I'm NOT a commando type gal by any means but I did as he asked. Well I ended up with the worst chafing and diaper type rash. I haven't had desitin in the house in years but DH went to the store and got me some and as long as I was home either alone or with DH I just let it all hang out and am now feeling so much better.

The kids bickering is a bit tiring but we are working on it. They have discovered that mommy will take absolutely no nonsense right now or they will not be happy with the outcomes. DH goes back to work next week after being off for two. My Mil plans on coming again next week to help in the am although I will try to see if I can get my self up and going and getting the kids out the door. but at least she should be here for back up. The one thing I haven't tried yet has been walking the puppy.

So after the doc appointments, my DH took me shopping to kohls. I needed to figure out something to wear. I have spent the past 20 something years in jeans and t shirts and right now jeans are not very appealing to try to put on. So I came home with 4 new dresses, (In addition to one I had packed away years ago and never thought I would fit into again.) I am just in such shock that I am actually going to where dresses again. I have always had to much tummy to get away with them. Of course my thunder thighs are still there but hopefully i will be able to do something about that when I can get back to exercises class. I have had a few breakdowns, usually when I think about my mom and what she must have been feeling. I'm sad that she isn't here to be with me but I do know that she is with me in here spirit.